bear, loner

[bear]

DON'T CRY OUT FOR GOD

we are all lambs to the slaughter now, don't worry it will be over

NAME bear
CLAN loner
POSITION loner
GENDER female but believes that she's a male (see history)
AGE seventeen moons

APPEARANCE
pelt • if bear was a blank canvas, it'd be like looking at a canvas that the top half was painted, and the bottom half was left alone, excluding a few spill markings. the top of her head around her eyes, on her nose, the back of her neck, her back, and along both of her flanks are all painted a base color of grey-beige. once the first layer of color has dried, the canvas was painted with wet-sand-colored long vertical stripes, and would sometimes zig this say, then zag the other. shorter stripes and small flecks, in an even darker color, closer to that of mud, are painted for the third layer. then finally, on her tail, ear tips, and uneven lines and spots around her eyes and face, are all painted a dark brown -- close to black. now take the design created on the top half of the canvas, and splatter it randomly on the bottom half. on her back right leg and her front left leg and left shoulder lies the same pattern full of varying browns.

eyes • even when she was a kit, bear never had the most gorgeous eyes on the island. although not the common brown, her eyes aren't very bright. in fact, they're incredibly dull, which is pretty surprising, compared to her shiny and vibrant pelt. her eyes, from a far away view, appear to be these olive-colored orbs; but upon closer inspection, one can see that the color of her eyes, when approaching the irises, change hues. instead of being the same old average olive color, they become slightly lighter, and have a more yellowish tint. it's almost as if her eyes are a gradient, starting from a pale olive on the outside to this slightly dull yellow at the core. the fur around her eyes are black lines, thick, which really make her eye color pop out.

build • despite being a huge fluffball, bear's actually lanky underneath all of that fur. she's not exactly weak, but saying that's she's strong and muscular would be completely incorrect. sometimes she can make it look like she's bigger if she poofs her fur out, and sometimes when she does this other creatures leave her alone or are intimidated. but really, she's not big. instead, she's agile, quick-moving, and fast. she's a good runner, not a good fighter. if you think about it, that's not the best thing for her because of her rather violent personality. even though she's not muscular, she still tries to rely too much on power itself when she fights; she has yet to discover other means of fighting.

flaws • because of her reckless tactics and diving headfirst into basically any situation, she's received a far amount of scars over the moons. there're scars everywhere on her body, but most of them are only noticeable if one actually takes the effort to look. there's one that slightly noticeable above her eye, a long scar along her flank, and one along her shoulder; a small patch of fur is also gone from her tail, although this little imperfection is one that's hard to notice unless one actually looks. her right ear is slightly nicked, but it's nothing too bad. oh, but she walks with a limp, which, if she lives in the wilderness, is pretty bad.

(click the header image for a full picture of her.)

HOLD ON THOUGH YOU'RE

alone i am there with you, that much at least i can promise, you know

LIKES
- late-night shenanigans
- strange felines
- trying new things
- high places
- meeting new cats & hearing their stories

DISLIKES
- routine
- conceitedness
- authority figures
- being told that she can't do something
- actually seeing the bad side of others

HOPES
- discover who she really is
- solve the mystery of the blue collar
- go someplace no one has been to before

FEARS
- never regaining her memory
- commitment
- losing

PERSONALITY
courageous & rash • is she actually courageous, or is she just stupid? honestly, it's kind of difficult to say. sometimes it's one, and sometimes it's the other. if she sees something as exciting, even if it's obviously dangerous, she'll probably go check it out, mess around with it, figure it out (or most like not figure it out). regardless, she'll probably put her safety at risk at the price of a little price. now that? that's stupidity paws down. but say someone else is in trouble and the situation is a little bit risky. most like, she wouldn't be afraid of helping that other feline even if it injured her. now is that courage? heck yes it is.

outspoken & loud-mouthed • she's not afraid, of, well.. pretty much anything. that goes for other cats' opinions of her. if she's got something on her mind, she'll say, and she won't be afraid to say it either. she doesn't see it as her problem if someone doesn't like what she's saying; she's probably going to say it anyways. she also has a rather rude mouth, insulting others, calling them inappropriate names because they make her slightly angry... yeah, it's not really pretty.

independent • this can be one of her good trait.. and one of her bad ones. she knows how to look after herself. most likely, she knew how to do that even when she was still an apprentice. she could catch the prey, and then she's go ahead and eat it. there wasn't a problem if she could catch her own food. she doesn't need other cats because she can look out for herself, and she's perfectly fine if she doesn't have a companion for awhile. and the thing with bear is that she's fine if someone doesn't like her. if a cat no longer wants to be her friend, then she shrugs it off, and just drops the other cat. it's really that simple for her. worrying about the details is something this she-cat doesn't do. the way she sees it is that she survived without them before, so she can do it again. she's a strong independent she-cat who don't need to other companion. queue finger snaps.

irresponsible • just because she's independent and knows how to take care of herself does not necessarily mean that she does. there are times when she goes a few days at a time without eating mostly because she doesn't find it important enough in comparison to her traveling and explorations, or sometimes she doesn't because she's just not in the mood to go out and hunt. this isn't only with her food, though. this goes for other basic life needs -- like grooming and sleeping. she won't sleep because she doesn't want to, or she'll sleep for hours upon hours on ends after days of sleep deprivation. her pelt can also get pretty messy because she doesn't groom herself.

KNOW WHAT'S TO COME

do not accept this, though we're alone we must fight for each breath

HISTORY
kithood • on a relatively normal day with normal weather, two normal riverclan warriors had two normal kits. both kits were healthy, mewing loudly in the nursery den. nothing went wrong; all was well.

a ball of neutral brown fur ran excitedly around the nursery as another vibrant white and brown ball followed in pursuit. the two siblings playfully chased after each other and heartily fought with each other as they spent their days in the nursery together. the neutral brown one, named earthkit after his stripes and large claws, was the older one of the two. the younger one was named brightkit because of her pelt's vibrancy.

even at their young age, their personalities started showing. the two siblings, when they were old enough, would leave the nursery and wander over to the elders' den to listen to their stories. earthkit was always so excited and loved hearing them. brightkit, on the other hand, usually got tired or sleepy or bored with their stories about hunting or twolegs or whatever else they were going on about. she instead would leave the den and leave her brother to investigate other dens in camp.

apprenticeship • at six moons old, the two siblings began their life as apprentices, and now they were known as earthpaw and brightpaw. they were assigned their mentors, and they were finally allowed to leave camp. for earthpaw, this meant something new to learn. for brightpaw, this meant freedom and new territory to explore. the two would go out, learn, practice -- although they usually didn't go with each other. the siblings began to separate, even more so than they had when they were still confined to camp. their training was average, nothing out of the ordinary. they learned just like any other clan cat.

moons had passed when earthpaw became a warrior with his new name, earthpelt; and moons has passed when the new warrior sat his vigil. the same amount of moons had passed when his sister sat watching, still from the apprentice den. now, she wasn't angry or annoyed with her brother -- maybe a tad jealous -- but not angry or annoyed. after all, it would make sense as to why she was still stuck in the apprentice den with felines younger than herself.

during her apprenticeship, brightpaw was... well, herself. her foul-mouthed and stubborn and rather rude personality showed when she was out training, often frustrating her mentor and causing herself to get into trouble. not only that, but when she was out training, because of her stubborn ways, she'd think she'd know the correct technique (even if it was clearly wrong), and she wouldn't listen to what her mentor had to say, delaying her training. her thirst for adventure didn't help her here either: she had tried sneaking out of camp several times, most of the time getting caught, and having to face the consequences, which, depending on who caught her, varied in severity. she'd also occasionally eat the fresh-kill she's just acquired, and she'd disrespect the older felines in the clan. in a lot of ways, brightpaw wasn't a very good clan member.

warriorhood • then there came a time when brightpaw got her stuff together and earned her own warrior name and title. she was now known at brightstep, and she sat her vigil. her paws itched for adventure. it was difficult staying in the same spot for a night, but once the night was over, she was up and out of camp, not even bothering to sleep. a new name, a new rank -- but still, her personality was the same.

the sun was starting to set in the western sky when brightstep could no longer stand the hunger. while patrolling near the river, the newly appointed warrior used the techniques she was taught as an apprentice to help her hunt her meal. crouching low, nose high, ears perked, staying downwind, the she-cat applied all of her senses. only a small amount of time had passed before she could sense a kingfisher nearby. slowly, steadily, she put on paw in front of the other, getting closer to her food. suddenly, a rustling nearby! and would-be fresh-kill flew away. fur bristling, angry that someone just scared away her dinner, brightstep jolted her head up and scanned the area, trying to find who was responsible. then, another rustling! to her left. quickly, her head turned, just fast enough for her to see a dark silhouette running into the sun's light. struggling to see but still determined to unmask the unknown feline, brightstep took off after the creature at breakneck speed. or, at least, as fast as her legs could take her. the tabby ran and ran, and when she finally reached the river, there was no sign of anyone else there. whoever it was got away.

bear • brightstep's sense of adventure got the best of her one day. while out alone in riverclan's territory, she got to the edge of it. she's gone as far as she could. no where else left to go. unless... yeah, you're probably thinking the right thing. she got the greatest idea ever and -- wait for it -- decided to leave her clan's territory. so there she goes, off into this unfamiliar place, this unfamiliar territory. the unknown. but that's what she wanted.

the she-cat wandered so far out, so managed to reach the twoleg place, although that was unbeknownst to her at the time. she was gazing around the place, curious about it, when something sounded in the somewhat close distance. turning in the direction of the sound, brightstep could see a brown feline, tom by the smell of things, walking in her direction. as he got closer, she could see he was the one making the sounds, with a bright silver bell attached to his collar. their first encounter was not, to say in the least, the friendliest.

"hey, you're just a soft kittypet!"
"i may be a kittypet but at least i'm not ignorant."
"what'd you just call me?"
"nothing. i shouldn't be wasting my time with dirty clan cats like you anyways."
"come back here and fight me if that's what you think!"

in the next instant, brightstep was lunging toward the kittypet, claws out. they had a small fight, claws out and tension between the two. it was surprising though: while the tom was not able to actually fight very well, he was able to throw brightstep off when she would jump at him. snarls and hisses rose into the air, until finally the two decided to stop.

"you're not too bad. what's you name?"
"my name is bear."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

strangely enough, the two sort of formed a bond. brightstep actually grew to admire bear's intelligence, and bear was fascinated by the different lessons one learns while in a clan. on occasion, the clan feline would visit her kittypet companion, and very often she'd had to mask his scent by rolling in different patches of ferns and plants, and, if she's desperate enough, drenches herself in the river's water.

as the two grew closer and talked with each other, they found that they both wished to leave their current life. brightstep was never much of a clan cat, and bear wanted to learn more about the area where he lived. after three moons of meeting up and planning it out, the two decided to leave.

the incident • when the moon was at its highest point in the night sky, the riverclan cat stood up and stretched from where she was sleeping in the den. this was the night. she looked around the cave, looking for her brother. slowly she walked to him, and prodded him until he was fully conscious.

"huh?"
"i'm leaving."
"what?"
"i'm leaving. tell the clan when they ask. don't lie. you can't stop me; i've made up my mind."

before he could say anything more, she emerged from her den and looked around the camp, to see if anyone else was awake. for the most part, the clan was asleep, excluding probably some warriors out patrolling or hunting; one warrior was also awake at camp. brightstep half-smiled to herself. all she'd have to do was say she, unable to sleep, was going to hunt, and then she'd be home free. as she walked to the entrance of camp, the other warrior side eyed her but otherwise gave no acknowledgement. a wide grin came to her face. that was much easier than she'd thought.

slowly she walked out of camp, occasionally looking back at the other warrior to see if he was still watching her. when she knew that she could not be seen, the she-cat gleefully bound away, further into her territory. she ran for awhile, feeling the wind rush against her face, but then she began to slow down until she came to a full stop. she stood there for a moment, her mind racing, until she looked back at the place where she had just left. her clan, her family, her home... she was leaving it all behind. for a moment, she had second thoughts. did she really want to leave forever? then she told herself no, that this is what she wanted. being part of a clan meant being tied down, responsibilities that she didn't want. she wanted adventure, craved exploration. she couldn't have that if she was always stuck looking out for other felines, some that she didn't even really like. still, she couldn't help but think about her brother and parents and even some of the friends she'd made in the clan. she knew there was no going back. a bittersweet feeling enveloped her as she slowly continued walking to her friend's house.

the two friends remained loners for another moon and a half. brightstep taught bear the things she knew, showed him the places she'd already seen. and then, when she had passed down her knowledge, he passed down his knowledge and showed her new places. he took her closer to the twoleg places than she had ever been before. and then, when that was over, the two would travel into other clans' territories. did they ever get caught? a few times they were almost seen, but they got away. was there any actual purpose for this? well, no, not really, unless you count brightstep wanting to quench her thirst for adventure as one.

the she-cat made sure to stay from riverclan territory for a good awhile. she didn't want anyone of her ex-clan mates seeing her, especially anyone from her family. already she had a feeling of guilt tug at her mind from time to time, and she didn't want to make it any worse by seeing anyone she used to know. so, for the most part, the two stayed away from the mountainous regions. at least in the beginning of their loner lives they did.

one night had been cloudy, exceptionally cloudy. mist hung heavily in the air, the clouds were threatening in the sky; a storm was obviously eminent. did this stop the duo though? heck no. brightstep wanted to go into windclan's territory, and she was very insistent on going. and despite bear's logic and reasoning as to why they should stay put for a few days, the she-cat persuaded him into going.

the morning of the beginning of their journey, there was a rain shower over the entire area. as the day progressed, the weather worsened. there was thunder and lightning, and by the time it was dark out, rash winds were blowing. the two of them maneuvered through the territory and managed to make their way to the broken halfbridge.

"let's go explore this bridge!"
"i don't really think that that's a good idea..."
"you're being such a wuss, bear. here, i'll go first."

brightstep took a deep breath, then took her first leap. then her second. and her third. so far, so good. turning to look back at bear, she gave a nod of approval. she continued to make her way across, with the rain still pouring and the lighting still flashing behind the mountains. rather recklessly, she made her way, enjoying the moment, until she heard a crack and a splash behind her and a few seconds later her name being called out. turning her head back quickly, she saw her companion fall into the lake. the rash being she is, the feline dove into the lake after bear. she knew how to swim, but with the waves so big and the level so high, it was more than difficult. her head was pushed underwater more than once, and she would frequently get a mouthful of water. paddling to the brown tom, she managed to get his scruff and tried to paddle back to the shore, but the current was strong, and they both were being pushed away. pushed underwater once again, and brightstep couldn't hold onto her friend any longer. she managed to swim to the surface once more, and the last glimpse that she had of his friend was him drifting away. then she was pushed underwater again, and the current pushed her into a rock . everything sort of went into a slow motion phase, and she blacked out before she could swim back up for air.

present • quick, sudden flashes of white. a brown kit. a tortoiseshell she-cat. rocks. a cliff. the sound of waves rolling. birds calling out. the smell of salt, other felines. the wind blowing against a field. the sound of a bell. brown fur, soft. the scent of a tom. "...bear." a forest. crickets chirping. harsh wind. heavy rain. lightning. thunder. water, too much water. engulfing.

the feline jerked and coughed loudly, a stinging feeling in her throat. she was scared, afraid; she didn't know where she was, or even who she was. her vision at first was blurry, but once it cleared she had a good look around the place. there were tall trees around her, looming over her. she could hear the water, somewhat faint. rolling onto her four paws, she winced at a sudden pain on her left front paw. it wasn't terribly painful, but it wasn't pleasant either. for quite some time, the she-cat lay there, thinking about the sudden images she had just seen in her mind. bear...? she thought to herself. she didn't understand why that name stood out so much, but with that name came an extremely familiar scent of a tom. am... i bear? all she could remember was a voice saying "bear", the smell of a tom, and the images of brown fur, and the sound of a bell. she was so lost and so confused; she didn't know what she was supposed to do now.

she pulled herself up, trying to best to ignore the discomfort but not doing a very good job. limping around the place, she decided to try to get a better understanding of where she was. a couple tail lengths in front of her, she spotted something bright, something silver. approaching the object, it turned out to be a bell attached to a blue collar. this just added to her confusion, but she kept this knowledge stored. walking away from the collar, the feline heard a rustling noise, like the scrapping of a bush. she turned, and as she did so she saw the lengthy shadow of another creature go through the trees. she called out, trying to get it -- whatever it was -- to come back. she followed, limping through the trees, but her left paw slowed her too much, and finally when she came to a complete stop, she realised that the creature was gone.

(should probably mention that i'm planning on rp'ing her right from there. that's why i didn't write any further.)

THIS CHARACTER IS PLAYED BY BEAR